I wake up and shower every single morning. This hairstyle cannot be recreated every day, unless it’s clean. It’s a known fact. Look it up.
So, whilst showering this morning, I turned to face my glass shower door, and something caught my eye.
My toilet is in within a straight shot of my shower door, as the crow flies, so I looked in that direction, and I saw it.
Something had left a turd in my toilet. I say “something,” because nobody was in my house, and this turd was definitely not human sized. Imagine a pile of dog poop, shrunken to about 1/10 of the size. (The proper breed of poop used in this example is somewhere between chihuahua and dachshund.)
So, the investigator in me quickly went to work trying to figure out what could have left this turd. I’ve had bees, lizards, a snake, cockroaches in my house,but I’ve never seen turds like this!
There’s another giant piece of this story that everyone needs to realize! Whatever it was had enough respect to shit in the toilet!!! I have mad love for anything that sneaks into my home, traipses around, doing God only knows what, and still has enough respect to use the toilet instead of just shitting on the floor!
After a few seconds of searching, low and behold, I found the culprit. There was one of those green tree frogs hanging on tightly to the tank of the toilet. I shook my damn head, grabbed a tissue, and politely escorted him out the back door. Then, I went back and flushed the toilet.
I don’t know if it was coincidence or just proper pooping etiquette, but it started my Thursday off with a bang.
Moral of the story, everyone poops.